We are approaching a dangerous time. A time when both sad songs and happy relationships evoke emotions that I try, but can no longer ignore. My mind spends too much time reminiscing and analyzing regrets. They say it gets easier, but I’m not sure that is true. Sure, I can breathe a little easier, but the empty weight is still there. The pain is still there, maybe it’s only that we learn to go on despite the constant pressure. We get used to the feel of it. But now, almost 10 years later, I feel like I’m drowning in it all over again. Like my unconscious mind knows it’s coming despite my conscious pleas to maintain the status quo. One more day closer, one more day further. A countdown to and from the emotional avalanche.
For you, it may be a lost friend or lover, a brother or a sister. For me, it is my one and only father.
I can’t believe you’ve been gone for 10 years. It still hurts like it was yesterday.